Fun & Wows

We all need some good laugh sometimes…especially after hard work.  Below are interesting and fun articles to cheer you up.  Enjoy!

1. Who says I can’t take Butter on the Go?

2.  Is looking after your baby taking time from your cleaning?  Not any more!  “I’m mom’s little helper”

3.  Rain is getting in the way of your activities?  Not me!

4.  Finally, I can get some sleep without worrying about my head leaning on my neightbor’s shoulder!

5.  I only have 30 minutes for lunch…I gotta cool down my noodle soup faster to get back to work!

6.  Having trouble asking your child to eat breakfast?  Not if Winnie the Pooh can help it!

7.  I spent half of paycheck on these shoes…I have a solution to show off my shoes and still keeping it dry from the rain.

8.  Who says I need a full husband to sleep well!  I can even make him wear any color of the shirt I want!

9.  It’s that cold season again!  I have a solution to never run out of tissue!

If the 26 letters of the English alphabets of:  A, B, C, D, E…..X, Y, Z is converted to percentage respectively as listed below:

A=1%   B =2%  C=3%   D=4%   E=5%   F=6%   G=7%   H=8%   I=9%   J=10%   K=11%   L=12%   M=13%   N=14%   O=15%   P=16%   Q=17%   R=18%   S=19%   T=20%   U=21%   V=22%   W=23%   X=24%   Y=25%   Z=26%

Then we would have the following interesting conclusions:

1.  H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

2.  K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

3.  L+O+V+E = 12+5+22+5 = 54%

4.  L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%

Then, all these above items which we value so much are not perfect, although they are important.  Then what will let our lives become perfect?

5.  Is it money?  NO
     M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72%

6.  Is it Leadership? NO
     L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89%

7.  Is it Sex?  NO
     S+E+X = 19+24+5 = 48%

Then, what can make our lives 100% perfect?

8.  It’s Attitude = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

This information is intended to provide an interesting article for the readers.  Although some people have reported these information to work for them, please consult your Physician for the accuracy of these information before putting into practice.  We will not be liable for its accuracy.

1.  Headache?  Eat Fish / Ginger
     Eat plenty of fish…fish oil helps prevent headaches.  Ginger also does the same, which reduces inflammation & pain.

2.  To Prevent Stroke, Drink Tea!
      Prevent buildup of fatty deposits on artery walls w regular doses of tea (actually, tea suppresses my appetite & keeps the pounds from invading…Green Tea is great for our immune system!)

3.  Insomnia (can’t sleep?)  Honey!
     Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.

4.  Hay Fever?  Eat Yogurt / Honey
     Eat lots of yogurt or honey before pollen season.

5.  Asthma?  Eat Onions!
     Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes (when I was young, my mother would make onion packs to place on our chest, helped the respiratory ailments & actually made us breathe better!

6.  Upset Stomach?  Bananas / Ginger
     Bananas will settle an upset stomach.  Ginger will cure morning sickness & nausea.

7.  Arthritis?  Eat Fish too!
     Salmon, tuna, mackerel & sardines actually prevent arthritis (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system.)

8.  Bone Problems?  Eat Pineapple
     Bone fractures & osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.

9.  Bladder Infection?  Drink Cranberry Juice!
     High-acid Cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.

10.  Premenstrual Syndrome?  Eat Cornflakes!
       Women can ward off the effects of PMS with Cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.

11.  Memory Problems?  Eat Oysters!
       Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much needed Zinc.

12.  Colds?  Eat Garlic!
       Clear up that stuffy head with garlic (remember, garlic lowers Cholestrol too)

13.  Coughing?  Use Red Peppers!
       A substance similar to that found in the cough syrup is found in hot red pepper.  Use red (Cayenne) pepper with caution…it can irritate your tummy.

14.  Breast Cancer?  Eat Wheat, Bran & Cabbage.
       Wheat, Bran & Cabbage help to maintain estrogen at healthy levels.

15.  Lung Cancer?  Eat Dark Green & Orange Veggies!
       A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green & orange vegetables.

16.  Diarrhea?  Eat Apples / Bananas
       Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition.

17.  Ulcers?  Eat Cabbage also.
       Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric & duodenal ulcers.

18.  Clogged arteries?  Eat Avocado!
       Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.

19.  High Blood Pressure?  Eat Celery & Olive Oil
       Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.  Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.

20.  Blood Sugar Imbalance?  Eat Broccoli & Peanuts!
       The Chromium in broccoli & peanuts help regulate insulin & blood sugar.

21.  Kiwi:  Tiny but mighty!  This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber.  It’s vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.

22.  Apple:  An apple a day keeps the doctor away?  Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants and falconoid which enhances the activity of vitamin C, thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attach & stroke.

23.  Strawberry:  Protective fruit…Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits and protects the body from cancer causing, blood vessels clogging, free radicals (actually, any berry is good for you.  They’re high in antioxidants).  Blueberries are the best and very versatile in the health field…they get rid of all the free-radicals that invade our bodies.

24.  Oranges:  Sweetest medicine.  Taking 2-4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent and dissolute kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon cancer.

25.  Watermelon:  Coolest thirst quencher.  Composed of 92% water.  It is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione which help boost our immune system.  They are also a key source of Lycopene-the cancer fighting oxidant.  Other nutrients found in watermelon are vitamin C and Potassium (watermelon also has natural substances of SPF that keep our skin healthy, protecting our skin from those daring UV rays!

26.  Guava & Papaya:  Top awards for Vitamin C.  they are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content.  Guava is also rich in fiber which helps prevent constipation.  Papaya is rich in Carotene.  This is good for your eyes, gas & indigestion.

27.  Tomatoes:  are very good as preventative measure for men.  Keep those prostate problems from invading their bodies.

Wishing you health, happiness & success!

I have received this email from one of my clients and good friend.  It was very interesting, so I would like to share it with you…

School:   A place where Papa pays  and Son plays.

Life  Insurance:  A contract that keeps you  poor all your life so that you can die Rich.


Nurse:   A person who wakes u up to  give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:   It’s an agreement in which  a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her  masters.
 

Divorce:  Future tense of  Marriage.


Tears: The  hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine  waterpower.
 

Lecture:  An art of transferring  information from the notes of  the Lecturer to the notes of the  students without passing through “the minds  of either”

 

Conference:  The confusion of one man  multiplied by the number present.
 

Compromise: The  art of dividing a cake in such a way that  everybody believes he  got the biggest piece.

 

Dictionary: A  place where success comes before work.
 

Conference  Room: A place where everybody  talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later  on.

 

Father: A  banker provided by nature.
 

Criminal:A guy  no different from the rest….except that he  got caught.

 

Boss:  Someone who is early when you are late and late when you  are early.
 

Politician: One  who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence  after.


Doctor: A person who kills your  ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


Classic:  Books, which people praise, but do not  read.


Smile: A  curve that can set a lot of things  straight.


Office:  A place where you  can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn:  The only time some married  men ever get to open their mouth.


Etc.: A  sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually  do.


Committee:  Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that  nothing can be done together.


Experience: The  name men give to their mistakes.


Atom  Bomb: An invention to end all  inventions.

Philosopher : A  fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of   when dead

1 X 8 + 1 = 9
12 X 8 + 2 = 98
123 X 8 + 3 = 987
1234 X 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 X 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 X 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 X 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 X 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 X 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 X 9 + 2 = 11
12 X 9 + 3 = 111
123 X 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 X 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 X 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 X 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 X 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 X 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 X 9 + 10 = 1111111111

9 X 9 + 7 = 88
98 X 9 + 6 = 888
987 X 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 X 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 X 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 X 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 X 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 X 9 + 0 = 888888888

1 X 1 = 1
11 X 11 = 121
111 X 111 = 12321
1111 X 1111 = 1234321
11111 X 11111 = 123454321
111111 X 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 X 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 X 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 X 111111111 = 12345678987654321

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look:  you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won’t get  it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Inside every older lady is a younger lady — wondering what the hell happened.

-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.  But I can usually shut her up with cookies.
 

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

-Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

-Janette Barber-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

-Carrie Snow-
 

Laugh and the world laughs with you.  Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

-Laurie Kuslansky-

My second favorite household chore is ironing.  My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

-Erma Bombeck-
 

Old age ain’t no place for sissies.

-Bette Davis-

 
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.

-Rhonda Hansome-

 
The phrase “working mother” is redundant.

-Jane Sellman-
 

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.

-Jennifer Unlimited-
 

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

-Charlotte Whitton-
 

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

-Caryn Leschen-

 
I try to take one day at a time — but sometimes several days attack me at once.

-Jennifer Unlimited-

 
If you can’t be a good example — then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.

-Catherine-

 
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb — and I’m also not blonde.

-Dolly Parton-

 
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

-Sue Grafton-

I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.

-Roseanne Barr-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country..

-Elayne Boosler-
 

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

-Maryon Pearson-

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man.  If you want anything done, ask a woman.

-Margaret Thatcher-

 
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

-Gloria Steinem-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

-Eleanor Roosevelt- 

** The purpose of this fictional page is to exercise your cheek muscles only.  Oh, I mean your facial cheek muscles.

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ….. Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food round!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!